I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that I will probably not be able to find the time to make five handmade Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes by Halloween. I am also trying to accept the fact, that I will not be able to finish up a blessing outfit for August by next Sunday. I want to. I have this fear that he's going to hold it against me if the other boys have one made by mom, and he doesn't.
The truth is, yesterday I held/bounced that boy for the better part of NINE HOURS. It was a rough day. I'm quite convinced that he is highly sensitive to something I'm eating. Let the elimination continue. Hopefully one day he'll appreciate the fact I held him all day long, and didn't break into tears myself. He's getting my time, even if it doesn't result in a tangible handmade product. But I can't help but continue to feel a bit of irrational guilt. Why do mothers do that? Always so much unnecessary guilt.
Want to hear another irrational point of guilt for me. With the idea of eliminating something else from my diet, possibly eggs or dairy, I'm faced with the fact that it might be better for both of us to have him formula feed. I am already on a a gluten free diet, and I don't know how much more I can cut out and still keep myself healthy. For some reason, I feel that I would be failing him in some way. Why? Formula is specially designed to meet babies' needs, and there have been many healthy human beings that have survived and thrived on formula. What's my deal....maybe it's the fact that I don't want to wash a hundred bottles a week. I dislike washing dishes. Or perhaps it's the fact that I am a normal new mother riding the emotional post-partum hormone roller coaster.